As the car leaves the small parking area near our apartment building, my niece asks:

"What happened to Uncle Izei? He looks weird."

I shiver and retract into my seat. I saw my brother-in-law keeping his questions to himself, which was a bit of a relief, but there was no way the kids wouldn't just go ahead with them. Despite doing my best to prepare for this eventuality, my heart still panics so much it could burst out of my chest and run away at any moment. Before I can find the courage to at least attempt an answer, Ariciel responds:

"Izei is going to look different for a bit. For today, you should make an effort and call her Aunt Izei, okay?"

The two kids look at each other and, with barely any hesitation, shout:

"Okay!"

I'm surprised by how fast and easily they just... accepted the situation. Their uncle is an aunt now, and they're just... fine with it? Kids really are incredible.

Remembering something, Ariciel concludes with:

"Oh but keep this a secret from your cousins, we want to surprise everyone, okay?"

The same "Okay!" in unison is followed by my niece muttering:

"I love surprises!"

That comment makes me smile, which surprises me. The kids taking the news well allowed me to calm down enough for my face to relax out of whatever expression it was stuck in. A quick look at Rimar tells me he's just as relieved as I am. Feeling better about the day ahead, I adjust my position in the seat, allowing me to take a look outside the window.

A few minutes later, my brother-in-law asks my sister:

"So... What exactly happened to your brother?"

She turns towards me, her eyes asking me whether I want to answer or leave that task to her. Feeling a bit more confident, I say:

"Dungeon delving accident. I found a cursed item which transformed me like this before I had time to properly isolate it. It's temporary, but I'll stay in this body for a few more months at least."

"Oh, wow. Must be hard for you."

"Yeah, but it allows me to see things from a different perspective, and try things out I wouldn't have thought of before. So it's not all bad, even if it did shake things up a lot for me, especially at first."

I then turn towards Rimar, who's faintly smiling from hearing me able to talk, before adding:

"And I had a very good friend to support me through it all. I don't know where I'd have ended up without him."

Feeling a slight blush creeping up my cheeks, I turn away to look outside again, but still catch my sister and her husband sharing an understanding glance from the corner of my eye. I decide not to worry about it.

The rest of the drive happens without any incidents. Since Rimar and my brother-in-law work in similar fields, they end up talking about work for a while, allowing me to relax further and enjoy the scenery. I haven't really gone out since my transformation, mostly staying home and sticking to places I'm familiar with when shopping. Making me go to the beach, effectively inviting me to try being out in public in a swimsuit... I think Ariciel wants me to expand my zone of comfort back to what it used to be. I wouldn't have been stressed out over a day like this a few months ago, so maybe it's best if I try to go back to a more normal mental state.

As normal as this body will allow me to be, anyway. Don't think I haven't noticed the ways you mess with my emotions!

I let out a subtle sigh before going back to smiling. I'm with people who love me and accepted me despite the change. The world didn't turn hostile towards me. I'm still scared of what my parents would say if they saw me like this, but... everyone else? It's probably not that bad if they learn about my situation. It's not like this is permanent, after all. And even if it was... I think I'd still be fine.

As we get on the road that runs alongside the large river going through the city, the very same one we're going to be swimming in, I take a quick glance at Rimar. He's enthusiastically describing how he managed to solve an issue he had at work. He's smiling and gesticulating a bit, despite no one else looking at him. Seeing him be proud of what he accomplished causes a bit of happiness to rise from somewhere deep within me, taking me by surprise. I immediately look away, trying to distract myself with whatever I can find outside.

I need to stay calm! Whatever plans this body has for me, I can't afford to go along with them. Still... I noticed he's been a bit more distant with me since the night I got drunk. Did I scare him away... Or maybe I said something really weird!?

I don't remember much, I know we talked a bit while eating but I just can't get my memory to tell me what the topic was. It... hurts? Yeah, as weird as it is to think about, I feel hurt by his actions... Ugh, I'll just have to ask him what's going on, even if it's awkward or embarrassing. Not in front of my family though. I'll keep that to myself until we're alone.

It doesn't take much longer for us to reach one of the public beaches that dot the banks of the river. After finding a parking spot, we grab our bags and walk down a flight of stairs. Even though we're all wearing our swimsuits under our clothes, we still make sure to spot the nearest changing rooms for later. Meanwhile, Ariciel is on the lookout for an empty stretch of sand large enough for all of our towels and parasols. With a hand protecting her eyes from the sun, she comments:

"I'm surprised there aren't more people, it is Painter's Day after all."

Her husband looks around before saying:

"We did pick a smaller beach further away from the public transit system. I'm actually surprised there's this many people here."

"Mmmh, that's true... Oh, over there!"

As she points towards the spot she noticed, the two kids start running in that direction, completely oblivious as to where they're even supposed to stop. Seeing this, Ariciel starts running after them.

Rimar looks at the situation unfold with a smile before saying:

"Children are a lot of trouble, uh?"

My brother-in-law responds:

"Yeah, but I can't describe the joy I get from taking care of them, loving them, and seeing them grow up. For all the trouble they gave us and will still give us in the future, I know I'll never regret becoming a dad."

I know that not everyone is suited to raising kids, and I've often pondered what my own place in the family should be. I'm an aunt... Or, rather, an uncle, but could I be a dad? I've never had any luck with romance, so I accepted that I'd just watch my nieces and nephews grow from the sidelines, but... Am I really okay with that?

With my body the way it is, it's probably not the right time to worry about that stuff. I don't even have the right equipment to become a dad anymore... And I can't be a mom either, I don't even menstruate. I'll just have to wait until I go back to normal before I really ponder all of this.

But... If I could, would I want to be a mom?

I start imagining myself with a pregnant belly, moving carefully to work around it. Then, I'm in a hospital bed, holding a small bundle in my arms. I pass it to the man next to me, the father... And Rimar gently grabs our child before smiling at both of us. A few years pass, and we're now walking to the subway station, the two parents holding the hands of a kid we love more than anything else.

That... really doesn't sound so bad...

But why do I imagine myself doing all of this with Rimar!?

"What are you thinking about?"

I turn towards Rimar, who's looking at me with a concerned expression. He continues:

"You were really deep in your thoughts here. Is everything alright?"

No! Nothing's alright! I just imagined us having a kid together and it made me happy, okay? How am I supposed to be "alright" after this!?

I take a deep breath. I obviously can't tell him that, so I resort to a vague and unsatisfying answer:

"Don't worry, I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind."

He grumbles in response but doesn't add anything. Thankfully, we reached the spot Ariciel found, so we start laying down our towels and securing the parasols in the sand. The two kids, all excited, remove their clothes as fast as they can, causing my nephew to get stuck in his pants and trip as my niece starts running towards the beach.

"Come back here, you're not ready to go!"

Ariciel shouts from under her parasol, still busy applying sunscreen to her body. Her husband is grabbing some flotation aids from a bag, resigned to his fate of only getting ready once everyone else already is. Rimar stands next to me as we both look at this scene unfold before laughing together.

I know the day hasn't even properly started yet, but I'm still glad I came.

The rest of my family is in the river, the two kids running around and splashing water on each other while their parents keep an eye on them. Rimar and I are sitting under one of the parasols, still dressed. Unsure of what's going on, he asks:

"So... We're not going in the water?"

"I don't feel ready to remove my clothes yet. Nothing's stopping you from going, though."

"It'd feel awkward to go by myself. I'm not all that close to the rest of your family, I really only  agreed to come because you asked me."

I don't have anything to add, so we stay silent for a bit, taking in the sound of the flowing river accompanying the screams of children playing in the water. Eventually, I realize that nobody's listening to us, so I ask:

"Hey... Last time I was drunk, a few days ago... Did I say anything weird?"

"What.. um.. why... how...?"

I can tell my question took him by surprise, but I don't know when our next opportunity to talk about it will be, so I push further.

"I noticed you've been avoiding me lately. Not completely, but you've been a bit more distant than before. And the day right after, you asked me if I remembered what I said... I was too hungover at the time, but I've been thinking about it ever since. And no, I don't remember. But I also don't want to scare you away because of what my drunk self said!"

The emotions leaking out with that last part take me by surprise. Without me realizing it, my eyes filled with water, and I raised my voice, causing it to start quavering. Am I really that scared of losing him? He's been here for me since my transformation... No, even before that, he supported me in many ways. He's always been a comforting presence, one I really don't want to go without.

He looks a mixed of surprised and sad as he stares at me. My cheeks start burning up, so I curl up, putting a bit more distance between us. I don't know how my actions came across to him, but I'm embarrassed no matter what.

Finally, he breaks he silence:

"You, uh... When you were drunk, you said that you wanted a boyfriend."

I look at him with round eyes. Me, wanting a boyfriend? I'm aware of how this body affected my sexual orientation, but to actually say it!?

"What... what kind of... boyfriend...?"

He becomes really red before responding:

"You, um... You said you wanted him to be like me."

If it was possible to be any redder than I am right now, I would be. Did my drunk self just indirectly confess to Rimar? No wonder he's been acting so weird lately. A guy just told him he basically wants to date him. I'd be pretty uncomfortable too, in his place.

"I... am so sorry about that. I swear I didn't mean anything by it, I've just... This body is causing me to struggle in a lot of new ways and I'm not always sure what to think or how to react to it all."

I see him try to smile, but he can't completely hide the pain he feels. Shouldn't he be relieved?

"I see. That makes sense. So, just to be sure... You still see yourself as a man, right?"

"Yes, of course! Ever since we've met, I've been a man! I'm my parents' son, and I'm the uncle of all the kids in the family, and I'm looking for a girlfriend. Nothing but a man in here! And also..."

I can't help but cringe at how insincere my words sound. I can't even confidently call myself a man anymore. But that doesn't matter, I can't allow myself to accept my current situation, because...

"... I'm going to go back to being a man soon, anyway..."

I end up whispering the end of my thoughts, unable to hide my disappointment. Recently, I realized I didn't really want to go back to being a man. I don't know that I see myself as a woman yet, at least not fully, but I get the impression that I can just grow into it, allow myself to figure out what it means for me to be one. There's no time for that, though. Once I turn back to normal, that whole experiment will be over. So what's the point in entertaining those thoughts?

Rimar looks at me, mostly unaware of my inner turmoil but at least able to see that I'm uncomfortable, so he concludes:

"Right, of course! I'm sorry I let the words of a drunk Izei affect me like that. I promise I won't treat you any different than before, no matter what happens, okay?"

I try my hardest to smile.

"Okay. Thanks, I... I really need it."

I need Rimar as an anchor to help me through this. And once everything is over, after they remove the memoria and turn me back to normal, I'm certain I'll need him even more.

I get up, dusting off the bits of sand that somehow made their way to my body, then say:

"I need to take my mind off everything going on right now, so I'm gonna go for a swim. You coming?"

Rimar lets out a small sigh of relief, seeing me back in a mostly normal state.

"Yeah, let's go."

I take my hoodie and shirt off, revealing the swimsuit top I'm wearing underneath. I ended up picking a blue two-piece, with both the top and bottom having extra decorative cloth to cover my cleavage and the top of my thighs. I wasn't originally planning on going with this, but I really liked the color, and after seeing Rimar's reaction to me wearing a bikini... I decided to compromise by grabbing a two-piece that's a bit less revealing. In hindsight, that was probably a mistake, especially after that drunken conversation, but it's too late for regrets!

As I start pulling my pants down, I notice a bare-chested Rimar frozen mid-movement, staring at me. I can't help but be satisfied by his reaction as I say:

"You better hurry, or I'm leaving you behind!"

That snaps him out of it, and soon enough, we're in the water with the rest of my family.