Everything was blurred, fuzzy around the edges. Eric rubbed his eyes in an attempt to clear his vision. Another thing struck him, there was a deep rumbling thud pounding away in his head, trying its best to vacate the space it occupied. This was the worst one he’d experienced, not even when he and Benny were in uniform together had he suffered so. He swore there and then that he had finished with the evil brew, that Black Label was smooth on the way down but by hell did it argue with one’s faculties along the way and try its best to demolish the brain. That's what it felt like to him at any rate. If he could catch that bloody cat with its army boots stomping around he’d gladly throttle it and the rest of its cohorts. This was not a time for parading, whatever time it was, presuming it was a time and he was alive? Yeah, he reasoned, he must be alive in order to feel such pain. Unless he was at the other place? Nah, he was far too insignificant for there. Now Benny on the other hand, he was a prime suspect. He was astounded that so many thoughts swirled around inside his pain-wracked head. Usually oblivion was his post ‘medicine’ habitat. Something else began to eat away at his brain, consciousness, sounds accompanied by hazy pictures. They were paintings on a white wall, they were awful paintings, at best from the hand of a very young, very naive individual. As his focus slowly returned he could make out a strange recognisable familiarity about these terrible works of art. Then it struck him. Fortunately he was already lying down. These assaults on canvas were the works of one individual. Only one person could hate art so much, the same person who hated food with the same intensity. Benny! He sat up bolt right at which time he felt like the sky had fallen on his poor suffering head. Looking around him he quickly realised he was no longer in the confines of camp or Rosie but in a plain whitewashed room, boringly square with these hideous paintings hanging askew along the walls, not one hanging straight. It was chaos, it shouted ‘Benny!’ Slowly he got up from the cot on which he’d been laid and, with unsteady legs, made his way towards the lone door at the far end of where he lay. Noises were emanating from beyond this door, familiar sounds, sounds so familiar he felt a shiver run the length of his body.
He had to find out, maybe this was the time he had to decide whether or not he was a man or a mouse, even if he did have a sudden craving for cheese. Whatever possessed him to go out and avenge Dog. Oh, he was drunk wasn’t he. Right. He gripped the door handle, hands shaking so badly that he thought he’d have better luck with his feet. Then, suddenly, his hands stopped shaking and he felt the calmest he’d felt in a long time. This was it, he was going to face his demons, of that he was certain. Easily, silently the door handle gave in to his light touch and noiselessly the door opened.
‘Ah, Eric, me old army buddy, come in, pull up a box and sit down, we ‘ave lots to chat about, you and me. You must ‘ave many questions, I’m sure!’ There he stood, the six foot burly figure with the instantly recognisable greasy curly hair and swarthy complexion, he knew as Beanz Benny, his old ex-army buddy he shared the kitchen with all those years ago, his cockney accent thick as ever. Although the words were welcoming words they didn’t match the chilly aura permeating the room, he certainly didn’t feel welcome at all. He sat down and stared at his host, he hadn’t changed, he thought, still looked his old deranged self.
‘I am so glad you could drop in,’ said Benny, still with his back to Eric. ‘My time warp scouts did well picking you up.’
‘Er, I didn’t have much option, it seemed to me, I had no say in the matter. Do you mind telling me what the hell you’re doing’ Eric was beginning to get a bit irritable now, the initial shock of having been kidnapped, for that’s what he adjudged to have happened and he was not pleased and was prepared to tell this goon of an ex-mate of his. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember numbering Benny among his mates anyway? This false bonhomie was wearing ever so thin, like his patience which was matched only by a growing indignation welling up inside.
Benny turned to face Eric, who was immediately alarmed by the wild look in Benny’s eyes, far worse than he ever remembered him looking. Benny was always a bit of an oddball, thought Eric but now, he looked beyond odd, beyond weird. The look on his face looked like it belonged to something else, something not of this world. Eric felt truly afraid of what stood before him, not knowing quite how to play this thing out. He was quickly shaken from his initial shock as the ‘creature’ staring at him spoke.
‘Now, now, Eric, my friend, there’s no need to be stand-offish, we’re old friends, aren’t we?’
‘Yeah, right, when did that happen, us becoming friends I mean?’ Eric couldn’t stop himself.
‘Oh now, that’s not nice, is it? No matter, you’re here now and that’s what really matters because you will witness the destruction of the world as you know it and from a front row seat. How privileged is that, eh?’
‘And how exactly does an ex-military cook, ‘z’ grade propose to set about destroying the known world. You're going to blow it away with a mass detonation of your infamous beans, huh?’
‘Oh you can mock now but just you wait and see. Right now your buddies are entering the core area of my trap, then you’ll see, oh yes, you will see.’ Benny’s face was aglow now, beaming with an evil reddish tinge, a good match with his purple apron. Fashion was never his thing.
Eric had to do something, he couldn’t allow his chums to walk into whatever evil trap Benny had prepared for them, but what could he do? A growing sense of dread began to fill his very being, desperation set in, he must act.
‘Before you set out on this course of action please indulge me a little, after all, it can’t delay you much to explain to me what this is all about, can it?’ Eric was desperately playing for as much time as he could squeeze out of this seemingly impossible situation.
Benny looked at Eric, a look of utter incredulity replacing the look of manic evil on his face. ‘You kidding me? You really can’t guess why all of this is happening and you being the bright one.’ His voice took on the tone of contempt now. ‘Let me remind you as you seem to have had a bit of a convenient memory lapse, cough! Cast your mind back to the days when we worked together whilst wearing uniform, our cuisine was much appreciated by a great many until you went and messed it all up, remember?’
Surely this couldn’t all be about a personal grudge, could it? Nah! And yet, in his mind Eric remembered times when his then colleague would display some very strange behaviour which at the time he thought could lead to trouble. “Just hold on there now!” He said, his voice no longer showing fear but indignation. ‘You cannot hold me responsible for your mistakes.’
‘My mistakes!’ snapped Benny, ‘My mistakes?, how can you accuse me when it was you all along!’
‘And what, exactly, pray tell, did I do?’
‘What did you do, what did you do?! You know bloody well what you did, you got me kicked out of the military, that’s what you did and all because there were a few fatalities after one of your dishes.’
‘Excuse me, ‘one of my dishes?’
‘Well it wasn’t one of mine!’
‘Are you sure about that?’
‘What do you mean by that? Only the two of us had access to the food stocks and food prep?!’
Eric detected a slight hesitation in Benny’s response time, he was showing signs of uncertainty now, no longer as arrogantly definite about things. He went for the jugular. Who loved to play tricks on us both back then, hmm?’ Not giving Benny time to respond to this question he went straight in. ‘Your mates, remember, that little group who took great pleasure in ribbing you, remember? Furthermore, they were strangely quiet and kept right out of the way during that time in question. Didn’t that cross your mind at all. I certainly thought it was a bit suspicious, didn’t you, obviously not!’
Benny sat down, well, more like slumped down and seemed to visibly shrink before Eric’s eyes. Something in what Eric said clearly struck home. For a matter of minutes Benny just sat there, staring into space, seeing nothing and yet, seeing everything? His mates had strangely absented themselves around the time of ‘the trouble.’ He had expected at least one of them to stick by him but no one did. There then came a point when he thought his head was going to explode, all those years he had held a hatred for someone, a hatred that had been eating away at him, all consuming.
